Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Tarry Pottering and The Petunia’s Slughorn, written by Janet Gough, illustration Paula Kuitenbrouwer

Tarry Pottering and The Petunia’s Slughorn, 

written by Janet Gough, 

illustration Paula Kuitenbrouwer

It was September the first, and the ToadWarts Express was waiting to leave. But Tarry Pottering-about-the-garden and Wrong Toadsley were still lotus-eating on their Magic Mushrooms, thinking about how to rid their world of the unmagical likes of Professor Snail and Dragonfly Mayfly.

‘Muggles and non-magical humans are daft,’ sighed Toadsley, ‘and it looks like they get dafter by the day.’ And what followed was his long litany of complaints on lawnmowers and pesticides, and the current lack of Abyssinian shrivelfigs anywhere to be found, even in Abyssinia.

‘What we need is a Whopping Warty Willow!’ said Tarry. ‘And someone who Professes that Sprouting is good! And a Green House! And a Forest That Is No Longer Forbidden! And some Mandrakes to take care of! I’ll get Hag-Rid of that waspish Professor Snail if it’s the last thing I do! And that Professed Horned Slug too!’

‘But normal humans don’t study herbology,’ said Wrong. ‘They think that because we are warty Toads we only do harm. They don’t realize that we keep them safe from Snark-aloof pods, and Professional Snails, and Professed Slughorns! They think all they need is Pesticidical Potions to keep their gardens safe!’

‘Aha,’ said Tarry. ‘But they do not realize that I have the Frond of Destiny and the Visibility Croak, because I am proud to be a Toad! Kiss me, and you will never be a Frog Prince! You will remain a beautiful Toad for ever! You will never have to Toady up to those nasty humans, and their nasty Potions!’

Janet Gough
Freelance Lexicographer and Editor
Her LinkedIn profile is here.




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